October 2010
29 posts
Philosopher Finishing Moves - Pravasan Pillay
The Aristhrottle
The Wittgenspine Buster
The Figure Four Ankle Locke
The Reverse Spinning Kickegaard
The Top Rope Over-the-Shoulder Thoreau
The Pulling Down of the Lyotard
The Feuerback Breaker
The Unemployment Clothes Line
Iran or Star Wars? - M. Lindsay Moore
1. Supreme Chancellor 2. The Special Clerical Court 3. Assembly of Experts 4. Third Senate 5. Guardian Council 6. Imperial Ruling Council 7. Supreme Leader 8. Army of the Guardians 9. General Ministry 10. Galactic Senate
—
Iran - 2, 3, 5, 7, 8 Star Wars - 1, 4, 6, 9, 10
Mathematical Refutations of Folk Wisdom - Andrew...
1/2 bird in the hand not worth 1 in the bush
1/3 cat contains less than 3 lives
jigger of prevention = around 6.28 lbs. of cure at sea level
love you take − love you make < 0
2 heads far more cumbersome than one
Terrible Poetry Jokes - Peter LaVelle
A man, a woman, and a blackbird walk into a bar. “Table for one, please,” they say.
- - - -
Byron walks into a bar. He has sex with everyone in the bar.
- - - -
Milton, Homer and Borges walk into a bar. Milton says: “Who the fuck put this bar here?”
- - - -
Wordsworth and Coleridge are watching the Lakers game. They can’t get service at the crowded bar....
Hit Singles from the 1990's in Passive Voice - Jim...
Bryan Adams: “Everything That Is Done By Me Is Done By Me For You”
Aerosmith: “It Is Not Desired For A Thing To Get Missed”
U2: “I Should Be Held, I Should Be Thrilled, I Should Be Kissed, I Should Be Killed”
Live: “There Is Some Crashing Of Some Lightning”
Puff Daddy (feat. Mase): “Can’t Be Held Down By Nobody”
Boyz II Men:...
Things Dorothy Parker Might Have Said, Had She...
“If you can’t say anything nice about anyone else’s children, come sit by me.”
“She knows her letters from A to B! Isn’t she amazing?!”
“Brevity is the soul of high school musical productions.”
“That child is learning eighteen languages but doesn’t understand No in any of them.”
“If you want to know what God thinks...
Literary Photoshop - Marco Kaye
Airbrush Memoir
Magic Realism Wand
Merge Relationships
Transparent Metafictional Overlay
Clone Plot
Distort Father
Drop Foreshadow
Cut and Plagiarize
Pen Tool
Songs From Rise Up Screaming, The Post-Zombie...
“Michael Row the Damn Boat Faster, They’re Gaining On Us”
“Oh My God, They’ll Be Coming ‘Round The Mountain Soon”
“He’s Got a Whole Femur In His Hands”
“The Scent of Decaying Flesh is Blowing In the Wind”
“The Hills are Alive, Sweet Jesus They’re Crawling With Infecteds!”
“If I Had a Hammer...
Indian Punk Rock Anthems - Pravasan Pillay
Gods Save The Queen”
“Live Fast Reincarnate Young”
“(White Naan) In Hammersmith Palais”
“Ever Fallen in Love (With Someone You Weren’t Arranged to Fall In Love With)”
“Srimadaddankithirumalavaraahavenkatathaa is a Punk Rocker”
Great Moments in Product Placement Poetry -...
OGDEN NASH: “To Husbands”
To keep your marriage brimming With love in the loving cup, Whenever you’re wrong, admit it; Whenever you’re right, wear Item J323, Leather Head Harness with Muzzle.
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EDGAR ALLEN POE: “The Raven”
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore, While I nodded,...
New Criticism Literary Theory Book Title or...
1. The Sacred Wood 2. Third Arm of Justice 3. The Well-Wrought Urn 4. Counter-statement 5. The True Cross 6. Outsider at the Heart of Things 7. Meat Maelstrom 8. Some Versions of Pastoral 9. Torch of Cupid 10. The Intentional Fallacy 11. The Lonely Tower 12. The Verbal Icon 13. The Powerprawn 14. The Living Principle 15. A Rhetoric of Irony 16. The Giving Tree 17. The Cambridge Companion to...
Release History of My iPhone Fart App - Andrew...
Version 1.0.0 (Dec 28, 2008) – Initial release.
Version 1.1.0 (Jan 12, 2009) – “Realistic Fart” will no longer mysteriously cause you to fart uncontrollably for 20 minutes.
Version 1.1.2 (Jan 15, 2009) – “Wet fart” will now play “wetfart.mp3” instead of “oldmanhummingthechorusofcaliforniagurls.wav.”
Version 1.2.0 (Mar 3, 2009) – Icon changed from...
Dancing With The Stars - Andrew Ian Lipstein
The Merengue with V354 Cephei The Moonwalk with NGC 4349-127 The Lindy Hop with LBV 1806-20 The Cha Cha Slide with HAT-P-13
Items That Are Better For Flyin' Away On Than A...
A wing and a biplane A wing and a helicopter A wing and a jet-pack Two wings A wing and a hot air balloon A standby voucher and a prayer
Sad Hayao Miyazaki Movies - Jesse Benjamin
Kiki’s Escort Service
Jewish American Princess Mononoke
Howl’s Moving Sublet
Nausicaä of the Valley of the Dolls
My Landlord Totoro
If Governed by "Truth in Advertising" Laws, What...
Still in my rebellious rite-of-passage phase.
I anticipate always feeling as whimsical as I was when I chose this.
Thinking ahead deficient.
Quite willing to flirt with infections.
Personal names on my body are not necessarily indicative of my relationship with that person when you read this.
I regretted this one almost immediately.
It may be wrong to assume that I know what this...
Topical Ointments - Michael H. Rowe
BP Pomegranate-Apricot Spill
Aveeno Daily Wash (now with Exfoliating Bedbugs)
Devalued 401KY Jelly
Rejuvenating Ground Zero Facial Masque
Literary Ringtones - Daniel O'Keefe
“In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since! In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since!”
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“One may as well begin with Helen’s letter to her sister! One may as well begin with Helen’s letter to her...
Things Are Looking Up for Bob Dylan - John Cafiero
The vandals were caught and the handles returned. The pumps are now fully operational.
With the help of some lacquer thinner and a little elbow grease, I’ve disentangled myself from blue.
Maggie sold her farm, and my new boss is really nice!
The wind blew the answer into a tree and I was able to climb up and grab it! It’s “ten.”
No, seriously, Ma, it’s totally...
“I am not young enough to know everything.”
– Oscar Wilde
Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs. (Bahasa)
Kebodohan.
Ajukan pertanyaan bodoh dan Anda akan mendapatkan jawaban yang bodoh-apa bahkan berarti, meskipun?
Pencegahan.
Sebuah apel sehari membuat dokter pergi jika Anda seorang pelempar cukup akurat dan dia memiliki alergi kulit parah terhadap buah pomaceous.
Penipuan.
Membodohi saya sekali, malu pada Anda; membodohi saya dua kali, malu aku, bodoh saya tiga kali, dan kami mungkin memainkan...
Teddy Wayne's Unpopular Proverbs.
Hygiene.
Cleanliness is next to godliness in my new store with a consonantally organized aisle system that skips two at a time, “The -liness Store.”
Stupidity.
Ask a stupid question and you’ll get a stupid answer—what does that even mean, though?
Prevention.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away if you’re an accurate enough thrower and he has a severe skin allergy to...
The Society of Pain - Will O'Neill
Welcome to SufferChat—Your Online Chronic Pain Community! Topic of the Day is: “Perpetual Discomfort That Annihilates All Other Thoughts and Ambitions.”
mrmanic: Ow suzy22: Ouch petey: Owwwww sally: Oh god why am I sitting at this computer mrmanic: 27/m/Winnipeg—LF sex standing up, super slowly, very carefully MOD_painful_poet: Like with a porcupine—and have we not been afflicted with...
